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Post by Host Sandy on Jan 29, 2016 19:24:03 GMT -5
So far in iSurv1vor each of you have been tested in different ways. Your posting ability, your capacity to work as a team, puzzle solving skills, creativity, and many other areas that make up a well-rounded castaway.
Today, your inner Tibetan Comedian should come to the surface.
For this challenge you will be roasting your fellow Sangha tribemates. For those of you who don't know what a roast is; it's a comedic speech where you make fun of another person. In this case - your 11 other tribe mates.
Here’s how it will work...
As stated above, each of you have a mission to make fun of your tribemates. The more humorous it is the more points you will earn, obviously. Points will be earned for hilarity and creativity. We want you to be creative, funny, and show lots of personality!! You can do this the classic way and write a speech or you can make your jokes in picture form, or even record a video making fun of them.
You will have 24+ hours to prepare and create your roasts, and before the end of the challenge all submissions must be posted within an Official Challenge thread in your Journal. Once your submission is posted, you may not add anything to your roast or delete anything from it.
After time is called the hosts will review the final products alongside a table of judges. We will determine which roast is most successful, that castaway will win Immunity and a guaranteed spot in the final eleven.
If you have any questions please contact Production, and we will clear anything up at our earliest convenience.Challenge deadline TBD. Everyone will be made aware. Get ‘er done!
Immunity is once again up for grabs. With the merge in full swing - safety is important as ever!
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Post by Host Sandy on Feb 1, 2016 0:42:01 GMT -5
Let's get to today's results. I'll start posting alphabetically;
Roasts Feedback Scores Good luck!
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Post by Host Sandy on Feb 1, 2016 0:57:42 GMT -5
You spent like a minute introducing the video before starting your roasts and your video was split into three parts which made the whole thing unnecessarily long. The laugh track was... distracting and kind of awful. ~ This… was honestly the worst of the bunch, and it’s really saying something that this was the worst in this sea of mediocrity. If the lack of any actual funny commentary didn’t kill it, the added ‘laugh track’ did. It made a dull roast an annoying one. The order in which you did them was sort of a cute idea, I guess, but it added nothing to the enjoyment – or lack thereof – overall. The constant “HA HA, YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU” additions were irritating. Don’t give a fuck if you love them, don’t give a fuck if you love your mama, I don’t give a fuck. Just roast, thanks. This was the longest one, yet you did nothing of value. God is sorry he made us. ~ A roast is typically a very organized affair, the roaster has given time to prepare what they say to ensure minimal transition from one target to the next and this felt so drawn out and you spent more time trying to interject very poor jabs over canned laughter. This isn't the Big Bang Theory, bro. ~ Adam, you were a little slow to start. The introduction to your picking out of the hamper could have been a lot more quick and cheeky. It took forever. Bad start. Tanya’s purple rock joke, didn’t fly with me. Ginny’s joke made no sense, about playing the 4 times and then about sleeping with gay men? The fuck Adam, did you think this through what the fuck so ever? Chris’s drinking joke, close but no cigar. Could have been better executed. Extra laughter from the audience comment was the funniest part so far. Matryna, Polish up on her game, Polish in ethnicity lmfao. OKAY. Cute. Got it. You set Tierra’s joke up awfully by letting us know you were going to call her an inanimate object before actually stating it. Fail. Roote beer floater was cute, but Adam your comedy needs a life vest. Kim’s age, . 2nd laugh but obvious. Justin, sex on poker table isn’t a joke. That’s an accomplishment. Bedazzled black hat about Gray. Smiling rn okay. GRAY FOR PAY YASSSSS. I got bored Adam and stopped watching. All in all the best part was your pulling names out of a hamper. And that’s not a good thing.
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Post by Host Sandy on Feb 1, 2016 1:03:15 GMT -5
The Final 12, Summarized in a GIF
Here's a story of a bunch of misfits, who look and act a little something like this:
I'm your roaster, the one and only Chris Brown, this season's booze hound:
I'm well aware that video impressions will be a plenty, but following the masses is never my steeze. In true old school player fashion, I'm throwing it back to my first love, GIFs. Without further delay, let's get the roastin'
Let's get this roast started with our dear, dear Zac.
When everyone has a great aura, your gem stones are telling you that we are all beautiful, intelligent, smart, winners:
So basically I waited until the last minute and didn't have enough time to complete this, so I suck and lost. FML.
But the concept is cool, no?
WTF ~ What a fucking disappointment. I expected something… anything, really, of substance. Major let down. ~ Regardless of how cool you think your concept is, the amount of time you placed into the challenge is pathetic. It's very easy to grab a bunch of images from TUMBLR and with a bit more work this could've been something very well done and just feels like a cop-out. Poor showing. ~ No, the concept isn't cool and is so 2012. Not having time to complete is crap, you're not Katie, and at this point in the game you should be ashamed. Time to drink but no time to compete huh? More than enough time was given so apparently someone feels super safe in the game with where he is and his little auction item. Too bad for him, no shot at Immunity, moving on to the people who actually did the challenge...BS.
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Post by Host Sandy on Feb 1, 2016 1:12:02 GMT -5
Roasts are funny when they are clever. Straight up telling someone they’re ugly is not clever. It’s just a cheap shot… it’s also really unoriginal when you use it twice, even if it’s said in different ways. Other than that, I didn’t haaate this roast, but I definitely didn’t love it, either. The Kay part was the best part. It’s just that the ‘ugly’ comments really cheapen it for me. ~ Proud of your effort Eric from what I can see. Justin’s was cute but the one hit wonder doesn’t do it for me. I want to see in depth roasting. Like this one sentence crap is not going to bode well with me. Imitation of Adam isn’t a successful as others you will see here tonight. Tanya, no. Martina, eh. Chris was cute. Ginny stopppp. Tierra, eh. Zac, please stop the Yoga, but thats obvious albiet cute.. Gray was cute ish. LMFAO @ KAY I CANT OMG PLEASE STOP OMG OMG. Please stop the madness with Kim. Okay, I really loved parts of this, wish you thought it through a little bit more and had more jabs to take at each person opposed to just one main joke. Could have been more successful. ~ I enjoyed this, you spent the right amount of time for each person I was never bored or disinterested but a few of the roasts seemed one-dimensional and you could tell where you struggled to come up with anything, using the same joke on Martyna and Tierra was eh... lazy? ~ The reason your roast stood out to me was because of your format. I like how you didn't address each person individually like you were having a conversation with them. Piecing together different "scenes" made everything flow.
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Post by Host Sandy on Feb 1, 2016 1:18:01 GMT -5
Ginny, starting off right into it, plus, but could you not button up? Calling Eric JB, cute, I like that it parlait’d right into Tanya. Good transition. I appreciate that shit, but the fucking stumble immediately afterward, wow flop. Not though through or practiced enough. LMFAO @ Kay on the Bachelor, but girl we need to work on your delivery. By the time you go to Justin, you seemed more comfortable and the identity crisis thing was cute. Good transition into Adam as well. But girl, fuck awful delivery on Adam with the mom jokes. Girl, I’ve seen you slay the masses with your shade when angry, like the fuck you sound way too sweet and nice when delivering in this Roast. No mi gusto whatsoever. Disappointed. You actually had a little sass when it came to Zac, that little sarcastic flair, you’re getting better slowly, hunny. Kim, boring. Martyna, that wasn’t shade you just flat out called her sneaky. Gray, okay. Tierra, you shaded David more than her, good job. I do love waffle house. So long and I feel like I didn't get much out of it FML. ~ Some of your roasts weren't very well thought out - you said things like "Martyna is quiet and behind the scenes" and described her game from your perspective. This challenge isn't supposed to be a substitute for your episode nine confessional. ~ Overall, pretty mediocre. I at least laughed at the Eric thing. But that’s really all this roast had going for it. ~ This is a roast, right? I lost track of the amount of praise you were giving your tribe mates, you would think playing four times you'd have a grasp of the basic premise. Disappointed, disinterested and I think as the most seasoned iS player I placed you on a higher pedestal by my own fault.
Did it make me laugh? Nooot necessarily. But was it delivered properly? Yes. Gray didn’t hold back; he went for the jugular. He was brutal and he was succinct and the video itself was well paced. The ending shoutout to Desireé made me laugh. ~ Gray, yes starting off with Jela. <3 So far you’re my favorite, the first bit, epic. Shade at Adam, touching Eric’s pole-vault, fantastic. I wish you were speaking a bit slower because it’s hard to capture the gold. Your cuts help tremendously. Ginny eh. The rest went downhill, nothing too funny or original. The ending with Kay made me giggle and I think it’s because of the serious face. Yay memory wall clip. Shut up with the I love you message at the end this is a Roast. ~ Out of everything I've viewed this has been the most well done, your transitions were great and each person was characterized perfectly in my opinion. You can tell work was done and that's clearly evident – you kept things short, sharp and sweet and that's how a roast is done properly. ~ I think you did a great job on this challenge. You went through each person and were unforgiving with your blows, which was the whole point. Major bonus points for spot-on delivery and not stating your love for the cast every five seconds.
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Post by Host Sandy on Feb 1, 2016 1:28:57 GMT -5
This was one that was comparably well edited and well done. It didn’t put me in stitches or anything, but he tried and he was clever about it, although I don’t appreciate ‘hideous face’ type remarks. I feel like it also ended a bit too suddenly; I’m not sure Justin even actually finished his final word before the video stopped. ~ A very well done roast, very engaging, you kept me entertained even when it started to waiver around the middle part of the video but you brought it back and there's a definite presence that helps when delivering blows and it's clear this was rehearsed and thought out. Well done. ~ Justin’s first sentence intro was great. Zac, perfect. Connected his personality to an original, funny joke. Kim’s son comment, +++ at least it wasn’t an old joke but it wasn’t funny. Tierra’s joke revolves around David, stoppppp. Chris being an over achiever, dead. Gray & David Beckham, dead. Eric’s first part wasn’t funny at all, but as you continue, the shit part it actually got hilarious in my opinion, and transitioning it into Adam’s was obvious, but successful. Ginny/Sherry not so funny and it was a lengthy joke, stop. KAY’s was fucking epic. KILL ALL of YOU. Hannah and Katie, I’m dead. The rest of the Tanya roast was hella hilarious, omg. Gnawing @ the chair, and eating less than any contestant on Survivor. And Martyna’s was actually pretty funny using what she said in her Meet Me and applying it to this challenge. Again, wish you elaborated more on some people but it was pretty successful and funny Roast compared to a lot of the others. Nice Nice Nice. ~ Very strong start. Someone who was with Zac from the very beginning commenting on his emotional side was great. Good use of a pop culture reference, even if it's GROSS.
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Post by Host Sandy on Feb 1, 2016 1:34:35 GMT -5
Kay went straight to the jugular right off the bat. Yas knowing what a Roast is. I’m liking the way you are playing the part right now. Zac was decent. Justin was funny with the breath/blowup doll but when you have to explain the joke at the end you kinda do yourself an injustice.Your jokes are dirty damn lmfao. The Kim, c’mon you’re better than that. LMFAO yes Grindr/Tinder @ Eric. The Martyna/Ginny duo, dead. Chris, meh not so much. LMFAO KIERRA. Adam’s was pretty good too. Overall Kay, I’m pretty impressed with you, oop. Good pace and execution. ~ One of the nice things about your roast was the length. You didn't spend a lot of time on each castaway and you got right to the point. ~ I liked this, it would've been better if there weren't jump cuts it loses the intended effect but you didn't overstay your welcome on each target and kept it to the point. It wasn't the strongest showing in my opinion but it's definitely one of the more memorable. ~ Surprisingly… this was the first roast to make me laugh more than once, and both times I burst out laughing because the delivery of the punchline was somehow unanticipated, and I really appreciate that kind of delivery. Pretty impressed with this one overall.
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Post by Host Sandy on Feb 1, 2016 1:41:28 GMT -5
Kim, I’ll start off saying that 9 minutes scared me. You look beautiful btw. LMFAO I WAS NOT EXPECTING THE ZAC YOGA TRANSITION. IM FUCKING CHOKING ON AIR AND MUCUS. OMG THE FARTING STOP. THESE CAPS ARE REAL. OMG KAY SHADE, with the thoughts, or lack thereof. I love that now I’m into Kay’s second joke, that it’s not just an one-line joke, a wam-bam-thank-you-mam sentence. A lot of thought went into this and I can tell already only 2 minutes in, slay mama, slay. LMFAO KAY ON A DATE, IM DEAD. KILLING ME. LMFAO TIERRA, the first message from David please stop. Wishing the delivery was better but your jokes do have substance, a backstory, and are actually funny. Justin, sorta failed me. LMFAO ADAM’S HAIRCUT STOP. I loved hearing my name in Gray’s joke but ugh, nothing other than my penis and I talk about it too often for me to laugh about it. KARDASHI PANTIE PLEASEEEEEEE MAIL ME ONE. LMFAO Ginny a slut and me, #youknowhowtowinmeover. OMG Things To Do In Minnesota. I Am Dead. Tanya always was cute. LMFAO TANKS ON CHRIS, IM CHOKING. STOP THE CLOSING ARGUMENT U NEED TO STOP IT. ~ You were doing moderately well for yourself, but you totally derailed it with that conclusion in explaining to people that it was just for fun. There were some funny decently funny moments, too, so that’s unfortunate. ~ The quick cuts to the mini skits were a nice touch. Loved the comment about Ginny. The disclaimer at the end, though? No. We all know the point of this challenge and you apologizing is so unnecessary! ~ I enjoyed it but I think the amount of time you spent on each person was a little over the mark to keep me engaged and because of that any good digs at your fellow cast mates may have fallen by the wayside. It was a great effort, but I wasn't too sold as a performance.
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Post by Host Sandy on Feb 1, 2016 1:46:02 GMT -5
Given that English isn't your first language I have to applaud you for a very good video. Starting out by poking fun at yourself was a nice change and you kept it very to the point for each cast member. Some of the jokes were a bit flat but nonetheless it was engaging and funny to watch.
~ Your humor is very dry and I love that. The whole segment about Tanya's daughter trying to get her voted off was hilarious. "Watch out for her, she's going to be the one to blindside you!"~I It’s hard to judge it when the jokes you hear are pretty much the same ones you’ve heard all throughout this challenge. That being said, she did what she was supposed to do, and I can’t really fault her for that. Plus there were parts that genuinely put a smile on my face, so… there’s that. ~ Martina starts off with a bang. I love everything about Adam. Even the transition was epic, “Speaking of Adam, Ericcccccc!” Yes Hannah being the only one loving Eric, I’m dead. OMG MARTYNA GOING IN ON CHRIS. Honestly, for not being a native English speaker, the way she is delivering these jokes is killing me and I think it helps, at least for my sense of humor. Like, some of you guys said similar things, but Martyna uses just the right amount for words, syllables and nails the punchline for me. I thought everything about Justin’s was great. Sorry missed Gray’s. I don’t know the full intent or meaning of Zac, but she said big dick, got me hard and yeah, mmm. Slaying Kim’s balls and Christmas tree. LMFAO HANNAH BLINDSIDING TANYA I FUCKING CANT. Ending with David…I just can’t. Good good good good job!! Slay.
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Post by Host Sandy on Feb 1, 2016 1:53:23 GMT -5
DON’T TELL EVERYONE YOU LOVE THEM AHHHH!!!!! You were doing well. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. ~ Tanya started off not even explaining herself. Perfect. Story time about Chris with props, nice job. Spit roasting Ginny like I can’t Tanya, slay. You’re a pretty good actress so I’m enjoying this. OMG WEEKENDS DADS HOUSE, GINNY, JUST CAUGHT THAT. Kim’s lost me. Martyna’s wasn’t really a roast was it? You complimented her beauty. Tanya, I’m on Kay and you’re being too nice now. I need more rawr from you. And then Gray just gets softer CMON THIS ISNT HANNAH’S PRESCHOOL CLASS THIS IS FUCKING iS27 ROAST. ROAST THESE BITCHES. lmfao ok Eric’s was cute. Yes Tanya tits w/ Justin and the muzzle, YES, THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR. THE DRAMA. By the time you got to Adam I feel like you were finally loosening up a bit in terms of just like really getting into it, and getting into the insults of the joke. Missed Tierra. But hey Natasha! lmfao the acting in Zac’s was great but the jokes not to much, but still, great. STFU WITH THE ENDING APOLOGIZING. ~ Not a bad video, not a great one either, some lengthy pauses at the start made me lose track and a few of the observations were weak and a little same-y by comparison to the rest, maybe if it was a bit more polished I would've enjoyed it more but because it wasn't I didn't feel engaged enough. ~ Some of your roasts were strong but some were more like compliments, like when you referred to Martyna as a radiant goddess. I'm sure she'd love that.
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Post by Host Sandy on Feb 1, 2016 2:01:18 GMT -5
"Ginny, you say you have 4 boyfriends - one for money, one is a fuckboy, one's your real boyfriend. This is your fourth time playing so I think really you might wanna boyfriend who's won before so they can give you some tips. Adam, I'm looking at your iSurvivor headshot and I'm not sure if you got the memo but the Justin Bieber look is so 2010. I've noticed that you like to take a lot of selfies, do you think that you're so forgettable we're going to forget what you look like? But don't worry it's a new year. A new you, a new self(ie). So Justin you've told me you're a big poker player and fortunately for you this game is a lot like a poker game. Unfortunately though poker is a lot like sex - everyone thinks they're the best, but most people don't have a clue what they're doing. May the flop be with you! Martyna, I've heard people from Poland are called poles so is this why you're so thin? At this point in the game it seems the only way to get rid of you is if I pull out my polish remover. Kim, I'm so glad that they let you out of the old folks home to come play iSurvivor with us! Chris, I really don't think we need to worry about getting you out because at this rate you'll be medically evacuated with liver damage from all of the drinking. Tanya you come off really sophisticated and mature and have two adorable kids, but with how often you have your hair in pigtails sometimes I get confused if you're the parent or child. Eric you just look like Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber. In your headshot Gray it looks like you thought you were auditioning for Brokeback Mountain instead of iSurvivor. Kay, you're more irrelevant than Francesca. Zac, I'm sure you're pretty good at stretching the truth. However, by the time you're finally done meditating on what moves you should make, the game will be over."
The sole fact it's not a video whilst the majority have had the stones to jump on camera and vocalize their efforts immediately drags yours down. The formatting was ugly, it felt rushed and just boring. Awful, awful, awful. Wake me up when someone finds this engaging or interesting.
~ You are kidding right? If this were an elimination challenge you would be going home right now. Shame. ~ Your roasts were entertaining to read but I would have loved to see you deliver them on video. ~ I won’t judge this based on the fact that it’s written. You were given that option and shouldn’t be judged for that, in my opinion. What I’m judging it for is the fact that it’s just not funny. This suffered so much from an obvious lack of time and effort, you’d swear it was a season of ProSurvivor. If this was a video, I picture it would have been completed in a minute flat, with you rushing to spit all of this out of your mouth as fast as you can.
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Post by Host Sandy on Feb 1, 2016 2:01:38 GMT -5
It was clear that you gave this challenge a lot of thought. I liked your individual roasts, for the most part, but I wish you would have cut down the length and spent less time on each person. Your winks when you delivered your punch lines were cute. The comment about Chris & Daniel was also gold. ~ OH GOD MY EYES. I’d say this roast’s biggest flaw is how long it goes. It feels pretty laboured. I didn’t really laugh, and I didn’t really have much of a reaction to it. This seems purely an example of someone who was trying to rely solely on their own personality to carry them through, instead of having to actually roast anyone. You held back, and it made this whole thing an effort to complete. ~ Zac, yes starting off making fun of me I’m dead. Wooooo. LMFAO with the Adam Joke. For all the ones who used Eric/Adam to shade, this was was funny and pretty successful. I love cream filling. Snow white, very awesome. I love the extensiveness of shade toward Adam off the bat. Well thought out and each joke like leads into the next. Well done, Zac. ILY WITH A SELFIE I CANT STOP. Out of all the people who did this, again, the most successful. Martyna's bit eh, not great but ok. Toilet flush was epic. Kay’s was a fail . Parkinson’s and desert snatch was cute with Kim, for an old joke. You are what you eat about Eric was funny. Calling Tierra Kesha, I’m choking on my miniwheats yas. For the most part I enjoyed it tons but you could have paced it a little faster. ~ A bit lengthy in terms of duration, definitely could've been scaled back a bit but the jokes weren't so bad and I had a good laugh here and there. Not my favourite video but by comparison to others it's decent enough. Good effort.
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Post by Host Sandy on Feb 1, 2016 2:07:54 GMT -5
The one time he's been allowed to talk this episode and he makes the most of it. Justin is safe at the upcoming vote and has earned a guaranteed spot in the Final 11.
Y'all can head back to camp. Tribal Council awaits for some of you.
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